This is not a joke

Harmon Leon - The Infiltrator – Only Christian Side Hugs Before Marriage! - True/Slant

Yes, now it’s abstinence only for Christian teens when it comes to hugs. The basic message is that “front hugs” should be saved until marriage, This is told to us while using a lot of ghetto rap hand motions. (”Word!”) I think the fear here is if teens give each other a “full frontal hug” it’s leads towards the Satanic road of no return of crotch-to-crotch dry humping. The next thing you know, you’ll be on that slippery slope of supporting gay marriage and believing dinosaur bones aren’t a test from God. Best to keep it safe with a “side hug” (at least until one is declared man and wife). When the hell did the Christian church put out the memo about the inappropriate frontal hug!?

Just Kill Me. I mean honestly. As you can see, I am reduced to mere sputtering.

via Matthew Yglesias